Michigan, USA

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Interview: Kaelin

June 29, 2017

Saturday, March 12, 2044

7:30pm

 

*living room in Mcdermitt, Nevada*

 

Interviewer: Welcome. Why don’t you introduce yourself?

 

Kaelin: *frowns, crosses his arms* Don’t you already know who I am? Isn’t that why you are here?

 

Interviewer: It’s better to have all of the answers in your own words, so it’s authentic.

 

Kaelin: *rolls his eyes* Fine. Kaelin Roan Arlenton.

 

Interviewer: It’s nice to meet you, Kaylin.

 

Kaelin: No. K-A-E-L-I-N. Like Keylin.

 

Interviewer: Oh. I’m sorry. Nice to meet you, Kaelin. *stresses the name*

 

Kaelin: *shrugs* Don’t worry, I’m use to it, nobody gets it right.

 

Interviewer: Are you excited to go to the new school?

 

Kaelin: *shrugs* Not the first new school, doubt it’ll be the last.

 

Interviewer: But you are going to a special school. The prestigious vampire-only school that is one of the best in the world, even

compared to our best schools here. That must be interesting.

 

Kaelin: *air quotes* Special School. I’m only going because if one of the vampires gets hungry I’ll make a good snack.

 

Interviewer: *looks uncomfortable* Well… I’m sure that’s not the

only reason you are going. What about the talk of peace they are promising?

 

Kaelin: If they were really certain that this was safe, they’d have

picked some genius chess champion, or some diplomats kid, not a foster kid with a record.

 

Interviewer: You have a record?

 

Kaelin: I see they didn’t tell you everything.

 

Interviewer: *skims through the notes* I mean… *clears her throat* Perhaps we can move on to some of the questions that were sent in for us to ask.

 

Kaelin: *laughs derisively* Oh what, only want the information that

looks good on camera?

 

Interviewer: I just… well, I guess if I knew more about your… mm… record… we could discuss it more, but I’m sure you don’t want to talk about that. *digs out a set of note cards* Ok. The first question.

 

Kaelin: *interrupts* Grand Theft Auto, Petty Theft, Assault…

 

Interviewer: *blinks* Oh. Mm… *eyes shift to the camera man* Well… *recovers quickly, turns to the note cards* First question, when was the first time you ever swore… or said something… maybe we can skip that one…

 

Kaelin: No, I like this one. I was… *pauses to think* I was ten. I called my foster mother a bitch. *smiles* She was, by the way.

 

Interviewer: I see. *pauses* How many foster homes have you been in?

 

Kaelin: I lost count at nineteen. *smiles* I was almost out of digits. *waves fingers*

 

Interviewer: That’s a lot for someone who is… *eyes the notes* Mm… thirteen?

 

Kaelin: *frowns* Sixteen.

 

Interviewer: Oh. Right. *nods* Your birthday is in… *eyes notes again*

 

Kaelin: *sighs* July.

 

Interviewer: A few months away. *smiles*

 

Kaelin: *shrugs*

 

Interviewer: *flips to the next card* Question Two. Have you ever had unrequited feelings for someone?

 

Kaelin: *frowns* No.

 

Interviewer: Oh. *frowns, seems like she wants to say more, then flips to the next card* What’s a false assumption a lot of people have about you?

 

Kaelin: Who says they are false assumptions?

 

Interviewer: Well, if they say something about you that isn’t true, that would make it false.

 

Kaelin: No shit. That’s what false means.

 

Interviewer: *frowns* I guess I don’t understand then what you mean…

 

Kaelin: Who says anything anyone is saying is false. Maybe I am a bad kid who is nothing but trouble. *shrugs*

 

Interviewer: Is that what they are saying about you?

 

Kaelin: *shrugs, then glances away*

 

Interviewer: Ok. *flips to another card after a second* Have you ever questioned your sexuality? *frowns*

 

Kaelin: No. I’ve known what I was forever.

 

Interviewer: *smiles* So you’ve had many girlfriends then?

 

Kaelin: *eyes her* No. I’ve had a few boyfriends though.

 

Interviewer: *blinks, flushes, eyes her notes* Oh. I… I see…

 

Kaelin: Is that a problem? Cause the interview can end if that makes you uncomfortable.

 

Interviewer: No. No. *looks back up, shakes her head* I just… must have missed that in my notes. *flips to a new card* If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be and why?

 

Kaelin: Next Question.

 

Interviewer: Our listening audiences want to know.

 

Kaelin: I don’t care. That’s personal. Next question.

 

Interviewer: *glances at the camera man a moment then flips the card* Ok. What were you doing on December 12th. *eyes the card a moment, then Kaelin*

 

Kaelin: Fuck if I know. *pauses* Kiana just got out of the hospital. Probably taking care of her.

 

Interviewer: Is Kiana your sister? *eyes her notes*

 

Kaelin: *shrugs* The closest thing to a sister I have. She’s a foster.

 

Interviewer: It must be nice to have a sister. Is she older or younger?

 

Kaelin: Younger. She’s seven.

 

Interviewer: That must be nice. Is she excited about this opportunity that you have been given?

 

Kaelin: I haven’t told her yet. I don’t want her to worry.

 

Interviewer: I’m sure she will be thrilled for you. *smiles, flips to another card* Do you think going to this school will give you a better chance in the future? *smile widens as she glances back up* That’s a good one.

 

Kaelin: I don’t think this school is going to change much. I’m just riding it out until I graduate and can get a job.

 

Interviewer: Is there a certain job you are hoping for?

 

Kaelin: One that makes lots of money so I can keep Kiana.

 

Interviewer: You’re going to take Kiana when you turn eighteen?

 

Kaelin: Yes. *sets jaw*

 

Interviewer: *blinks* Ok… *flips to another card* In less than four sentences, describe the entire plot of the last book you read.

 

Kaelin: *is quiet for a few moments* It’s been awhile but… it involves a vampire count in Transylvania, an old castle, and three girls who are supposed to be hot, but don’t do much for me.

 

Interviewer: I know that one *nods, flips to the next card* Describe the most untrustworthy person you can think of.

 

Kaelin: *pales* Next question.

 

Interviewer: You skipped one already.

 

Kaelin: Was there a limit?

 

Interviewer: I was told by your foster mother that you would be happy to answer all of the questions that the viewers would want to know. *frowns* is that not what you told her?

 

Kaelin: *frowns, lowers his eyes* Fine. *quiet for several moments*

 

Interviewer: *eyes the camera man, tips her head*

 

Kaelin: Black hair. Early twenties. Brown eyes. What else do you want to know? Do you need to know his shoe size?

 

Interviewer: I don’t think so… So you don’t like people who are in their early twenties with black hair and brown eyes? Do you prefer men in their late twenties with blonde hair and blue eyes? *smiles as if it’s supposed to be a joke*

 

Kaelin: *flushes, voice angry* Why did you ask if you were just going to make fun of my answer?

 

Interviewer: *smile fades* I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t trying to be… *flips to the next card* What is the most cringeworthy thing you’ve ever seen? *eyes the card a moment, then tips her head, shows Kaelin the picture, badly drawn, of a… vampire? Biting a… human?*

 

Kaelin: *glances up at the card, is quiet for a moment* My foster sister’s back.

 

Interviewer: *frowns* What’s wrong with her back?

 

Kaelin: That wasn’t part of the question.

 

Interviewer: *blinks* Ok *flips to a new card* What is your biggest regret?

 

Kaelin: Not stealing the red Mercedes. *smiles*

 

Interviewer: Your biggest regret is not stealing a car?

 

Kaelin: *shrugs* What did you expect?

 

Interviewer: *quiet a moment before flipping to another card* Do you have any cousins?

 

Kaelin: If I had cousins do you think I would be in foster care?

 

Interviewer: If they were too young to take you in, or if they were unable to provide you a safe home.

 

Kaelin: What makes you think any of the foster parents I’ve had were capable of providing a safe home?

 

Interviewer: The government screens the foster homes that we send out children to. There is a lot of background checks and the caseworkers-

 

Kaelin: are so overworked so long as you’re not sleeping on the streets they don’t care. Even then, they only care if you end up arrested.

 

Interviewer: *frowns* I’m sure that’s not true.

 

Kaelin: *shrugs* Whatever.

 

Interviewer: *flips to the next card* Describe the worst birthday you’ve ever had.

 

Kaelin: I was fourteen. Spent a week in jail. *pauses* Actually, that one wasn’t so bad, the police officer brought me a donut.

 

Interviewer: *blinks, hesitant* That was nice of him.

 

Kaelin: *nods* I should send him a thank you card.

 

Interviewer: *eyes him, flips to the next one* We only have a few left. If someone gave you  truth potion and you had to answer every question honestly. What would be the worst possible question someone could ask you?

 

Kaelin: *grows quiet for almost a minute* Why the most untrustworthy person is in his young twenties and has black hair and brown eyes.

 

Interviewer: I see… *is quiet a moment before flipping to the next card* Describe, in detail, your first serious relationship. Describe how it ended.

 

Kaelin: A kid I met at one of my foster homes. We fooled around a bit until I had to move.

 

Interviewer: Did you guys keep in touch?

 

Kaelin: Honestly? I can’t even remember his name. *frowns*

 

Interviewer: *flips to another card, then pauses*

 

*Little blonde girl slips into the room and crawls into Kaelin’s lap*

 

Kaelin: *face lights up* Hey, honey. What are you doing out of bed?

 

Little Blonde Girl: *voice a whisper* I got scared.

 

Kaelin: *smiles* There’s nothing to be scared of. I’ll come tuck you back in when I’m done. Do you want to stay with me for a bit?

*glares at the interviewer*

 

Interviewer: *smiles* Introduce me to your friend, Kaelin.

 

Kaelin: *forces a smile* This is Kiana.

 

Interviewer: Nice to meet you, Kiana. I just have one more question for your brother.

 

Kiana: *buries her face in Kaelin’s shoulder*

 

Interviewer: *looks at the last card* What is your biggest irrational fear and how did you get it?

 

Kaelin: *brushes a hand over Kiana’s hair* All fears are rational to the person who has them.

 

Interviewer: What sort of things are you afraid of?

 

Kaelin: Other people driving. Bathrooms. Little Fluffy Kittens.

 

Interviewer: *blinks* Why are you afraid of little fluffy kittens?

 

Kaelin: Have you seen their claws? And the way they just stare at

you with their cute little button eyes? It’s creepy. It’s like they are plotting something.

 

Interviewer: *blinks again, tucks the note cards into her folder* I think that’s everything. Thank you for taking the time out to talk with us today.

 

Kaelin: Not like I had a choice. *stands up, holding Kiana in his arms and walks out of the room*

 

 

 

 

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